I'm mad today.

I promise you all that I will have a positive post this week, once I start my job. I am actually really looking forward to it :)

But today... I am mad. I had a really good past 2 nights with great friends. But for some reason, I woke up angry today. He is starting to confuse me again. I wish he would just keep his feelings to himself. All it does is screw with my head. He tells me one thing... and I know he is telling her something completely different. She can't be very smart though, since she has fallen for his lies and continues to go on with him. I won't though. I know he is only saying these things so that I will hold onto an empty dream that isn't really there. He doesn't want me to move on and that's why he's doing that. Well I have news for him, it won't work. I want love again. I want a family. I want more children. I want my son to have a good, strong man around to help him through life. Whether that is his father, or not.

He needs to stop. At first, I thought I would on board for working things out but now I'm not so sure. He has to STOP what he's doing with "other" people first. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Not in this situation at least. Decide what you want, you jerk, and quit messing with me!

I'm off to church. I need some guidance and comfort today.