Ok, Ok, I caved :)

I can't believe how many messages I got about deleting this. I decided to bring it back because I feel connected to all of you that read this. And I am going to leave up my last post because it was my true feelings at the time and I do not believe in regret.

Long story short, we are back together. We are going to attempt to work out our marriage and we are determined to make it last. After all of that happened 2 weeks ago and my posting about it... things changed. We talked a lot of things out and I went down there for a weekend to see how things were. He ended up coming back with me since he is on leave right now. It has been nice to be a family again. Remington is so happy when he's around. He is happy anyway, but with his dad, it's a different kind of love. I am sure all of you parents understand. And if you're wondering about my job and what we are going to do.. it's simple. I am going to stay here living with my mother and work. Jeremy and I have a lot of debt and this extra income will help a ton. Then at the end of the school year, Rem and I will move back there with him. We don't want to jump right into things just yet anyway. Taking it slow and learning to appreciate our time together will help mend the wounds between us.

I know a lot of you won't understand this. And that's fine. But I hope that you will put yourself if my shoes. Imagine the love you have for the person you are with. We have a history and a family and people make mistakes. He needs to learn to forgive himself before I can forgive him. Forgetting is a whole other issue though. That is what I am having a hard time with. But everyone keeps telling me just give it time. And that is what I have to do.

I don't want to make this some long, drawn out post. I love you all so much and hope that you can continue to support me.

This is it.

One thing that has amazed me through all of this is how FAST things can change. With that being said...

We are done. Yes, for real this time. Just when I let him back in and just when he had told me he loved me again. It's over. I may have been a bitch at times, or nagged him when he didn't deserve it but one thing I can proudly say is that I did not deserve this. Anyone that knows me can tell you what a committed, amazing person I am. I will not however, be used. Or lied to. Or taken advantage of. This has been a very rough road for me to FINALLY see what needs to be done. I hate letting go of him. I hate the thought of being alone, at all. But being with him is the wrong choice. I am glad that I can admit it now. It hurts like hell and will for a long time, but oh well. It had to be done.

And for you, you homewrecker. Yes, I said it because you aren't worth your actual name being said... It was only a drunken text. That's all you're worth. I hope next time you decide to try to find a man that he ISN'T married and that you don't ruin ANOTHER family. Now move the hell on with your life and stay outta mine. Even though him and I are done, if I find out you are in the picture ever again, you both better pray I am in a good mood that day. You were lucky I was in a good mood until NOW. Screw off and quit reading my blog, creeper.