I am starting to think I will never have a happy post.
I got to my mom's today. I love my mom, but I don't want to be here. I thought my home was there and now I feel like I have no home. Remington is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I am still mourning. I am hoping the anger stage starts soon so I can stop wanting him. I can't just fall out of love with him overnight. I am in so much pain and whenever I hurt, he is the person I turn to. He is my rock and now I have lost that. I have tons of support. TONS. I didn't know how many friends I had until this. I know people want to see me and spend time with me, but I am just not ready right now. I feel so guilty that my Facebook messages are overflowing, texts are going unanswered, and I am just disappearing.
My knees hurt from praying, my eyes burn from crying, my stomach aches from stress, and my body is wearing down from exhaustion. I am now putting my life in the Lord's hands. He will guide me and protect me in the right ways. I know it.
I don't think any of your friends would want you to feel guilty for not responding. I certainly haven't posted expecting a response. You do what you need and when you're ready, that's when you'll reach out to whomever you wish. You do have lots of support and love, but that won't make the pain any less.
ReplyDeleteceline, im sure you're hearing from everyone that he is a piece of shit and didn't deserve what he had anyway, but i get it. truly i do. im STILL not over my last relationship. it takes everything in me to not just text or call him just to see how he is, it just takes time i suppose, how much time? im not sure. but the pain fades, but you think about him everyday still. Tristen, (your Remington) are out rocks now. everytime i think about him. i go to tristen and just forget. just put all your energy and focus on your son and getting comfortable with a brand new routine and things will start feeling better. routine is key. you spent so much time adjusting one with him too and now just you and rem. you will figure it out and in the mean time you have loved one to help distract you. tristen and i will come see you next weekend if its a good time and you're ready. much love and stay strong.
ReplyDeleteshelly